The Genius In My House

There is a genius living in my house. He's 6'2", 180 some pounds, seventeen years old and he knows EVERYTHING. If you don't believe me, you only have to ask him. It doesn't matter how much evidence you may have to the contrary, you are wrong and he is always right. This genius is named Bobby and he is my oldest stepson.

Bless his heart, I love him more and more every day. However, I'm anxiously waiting for him to grow out of his know it all phase and grow up. That being said, I'm not in a hurry for him to grow all the way up. I'm not ready for him to be out of the house, knowing that our time with him will be hit or miss. This is our last year as a full family before he goes off to college in the fall. I want to cherish every moment we have together, even if I have to argue the necessity of it.

I can honestly say though, I'm not alone. Bobby argues with anyone and everyone. I've heard him on the phone with his mother and she is so patient with him. I can hear her on the other end saying "okay Bobby, whatever you say." She and I have already learned, there is no point in arguing. He must have the last word. There is no way on God's green earth he is going to stop talking until you've given up and walked away. Even then, you can usually hear him mumbling behind you about how wrong you really are.

Unfortunately, the other males in our household have not discovered the uselessness of arguing. Donnie is forty-two years old. I keep telling him to let things go. Some things, Bobby will have to learn for himself. You can give  him your opinion, you can put your two cents in, but he's still going to do it his way. Why? Because his way is the right way! Still, Donnie and Bobby are more alike than they care to admit. Neither one can stand to be wrong, both must have the last word and neither of them are afraid to resort to threats. Bobby's general threats are that he'll go live with his mom. Donnie's are that he's going to ground him and take away his car. Will either of them carry these out? Not a chance! Bobby doesn't want to have to get up earlier to drive himself to school from his mom's house, not to mention the behavior expected of him from his mother. I admit, we let words slide in our home that she doesn't. Though I'd prefer not to hear them, at seventeen, I'm not about to start telling him now that he can't say what he means. Donnie on the other hand, thinks his threats will bother Bobby, even though Bobby knows, nothing will actually happen. Taking his car away would mean dad has to get up and take them all to school because even he doesn't want them riding the bus. (ask me if I care if they ride the bus to school at 9, 10 and 17 years old!)

Our younger boys find it impossible not to argue with Bobby. While Hunter gets mad and usually cries when he doesn't win the argument, Richie stomps off mumbling like my mother. Part of this I think is that Hunter, until Donnie and I got together, was programmed to fuss and cause trouble. Bobby could be on the other end of the house and if Hunter pouted and yelled his name, Bobby would end up in trouble. Now, Hunter seems to think it should still work that way. So, he argues on. He has to be right too. There's no way he could let Bobby have the last word and try as I might, I can't get Bobby to understand that there's no pride to be had in winning an argument with a 10 year old. Nope, neither one is willing to give. Usually, Hunter is reduced to yelling and crying and the boys have to be separated. Richie on the other hand swears he's right. Unfortunately, he generally picks things to argue over that even I know he's wrong, simply because he has no knowledge of the subject he is arguing. Just for once, I'd love to have him argue over a book he read...Bobby isn't much of a reader so at least I could take Richie's side and be pretty sure he's right. However, as he didn't spend the first 8 years of his life in a household where sports were life, I'm pretty sure it isn't wise for him to argue baseball, basketball or football. Does that stop him? Nope, not one bit! He's positive he knows what he's talking about and I have to give him credit, when he chooses a side on a topic, he's unwaveringly faithful to his position. Still, he's usually wrong too and at some point in the argument, Bobby will throw out some concrete evidence that he's right which sends Richie stomping into his room mumbling about looking it up online later.

None of this is foreign to me. I'll freely admit that there are times when I miss being a teenager and knowing everything. Not to mention, I have no problem owning up to the fact that the older my children get, the less I seem to know and remember. Still, I've spent my days arguing over nothing. No, seriously, never are any of these arguments life or death situations. No one will die because I mixed up the names of the Quarterbacks on the Super Bowl teams or on a player's NFL history. Still, as I've grown older, I've either learned not to argue unless it matters or I'm turning into Maxine and I just don't give a hoot. Either way, it utterly amazes me that regardless of age, the males around me can not grasp the concept of only arguing when it counts. So, I simply shake my head and walk away; put in my iPod headphones and know, I don't want to hear what they're mumbling behind my back. It's not an argument I'm going to win, after all, my kid is a genius!